Broken Embrace

A year-long journey of discovery,
Had allowed life to unfold at its own pace,
It was a quest too complicated to begin with,
But definitely evolve in a way it has to be.

Am I not equipp to handle difficulties?
Did i crossed bounderies that entirely messy?
Am I to blame for the temporary darkness?
Did i really took part in the story?

But they wont!

Outsiders make it their business,
Suddenly the abrupt change of embraces,
The entire panorama of situation is tricky,
But comfortably sheltered by broken embraces.
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What: Taipei County Star In A Million Singing Contest
Where: Banqiao Taipei County
When: August 15,2010

The Interpreters from Vietnam, Thailand, Taiwan, Indonesia and the Philippines
Igorot Dance from Philippines (Cordillera Group in Taiwan)

Proud of my country, our group was the most annoying cheerer in the crowd. Even the guest recognised that the Philippines has many supporters. Sarap mang-asar but it's a friendly competition. Who can blame us? Pinoy ang nanalo :)

Before the program starts, we managed for picture taking. For the first, na feel ko ang good camaraderie ng Pinoy dito sa Taiwan, they are hospitable indeed. Sila ang nagreserve ng upuan para sa amin kasi wala sa plano ang pagpunta namin sa okasyon na ito.

One of the contestant was their friends (factory workers). I was so surprised even their Boss came to supports our kababayan.

With the Gang outside the theater.

One of the best experienced I had so far. I enjoyed a lot, laughed, and shout. It's a way of enjoying FREEDOM. The program starts on the dot, everything will planned ahead of time and the guest speakers, judges, participants, contestant were all prepared. Plus the jammed pack crowd. I felt the guilt of deprieving myself just to pleased someone, but now im in a transition. Having the most of my time. I met my old friends and had a good chat with them. They're are very happy at long last "nabuhay daw" ulit ako. (wink, wink)

I'm thankful i still had a chanced to enjoy this kind of affair. It was a relief on my part, a cherished moment that will makes me smile everytime i remember. I once told myself taking my day-off will ruin my life perspective but now I am, I broke up from my old ME. This is me now, ready to face the world again, ready to blend in the crowd and i'm quiet certain i am ready to live my life to the fullest. NO hang-ups, NO regrets!

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Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters…whatever name we give
it, what matters is to leave in the past the memories of life that have

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, But
...simply because that no longer fits your life.

Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the

Stop being who you were, and change into what you are
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Happy Birthday

August 29 and 30

Words alone can't express how grateful I am. Just knowing you means a lot to me. I was drowning and you pulled me out from the ocean. You are a good friend, a one in a million friend. Your pure heart always shines even in the worst situation. Even provoked, you still managed to see the good things on that person. Even if humiliated, you still want to believe on the positive side. I've learned so many things from you and i will be forever thankful for all the good deeds you've shared. Thank you so much!

Happy Birthday! I wish you all the best because you deserve it. I am always here as a special friend. I am sorry for my shortcomings.

Again, Happy Birthday Lenon and Jay-Ann.

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Ang dahas nakita ng buong paligid,
Buong mundo nagmasid,
Inabangan ang pagsupil,
Sa trahedyang mabagsik.

Dugo ay dumanak
Buhay naibuwis

Tapos na ang dahas,
Nagtuturuan ang mga ahas,
Dahil nakakahiyang armas,
Nasaksihan ng sandaigdig.

Saan nagkulang?
Saan nagkamali?

Iisa ang bansa natin,
Nasaan ka man kaibigan,
Pilipinas pa rin ang iyong pinagmulan,
Bakit mo ikahihiya bansang sinilangan?
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The Same Hand

I have a seemingly impossible needs today. I long for answers to the unending questions but the question itself is unresponsive. The emotions are vividly and loudly manipulates my mind however i found the alternative route that will offer me's my HOME.

It is a place where i can be ME, just me. It is where imperfections doesn't exist, differences are just a thin line for acceptance and LOVE is the main ingredients to survive.

He loves me even the whole world hates me. He walks with me and carry me in times of troubles. He is always there as my shining armor. He never despise me even in the eyes of so many people i am the worse one. In HIS eyes, i am the image of His grace and love.

One touch of His hands will makes me a new one. The same hand that molds me, the same hands that change me and the same hands who embraced and loved me unconditionally.
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Isang tinig
Na mahiwaga
Ang pumukaw
Sa kamalayan.

Maghintay ka,
Matatapos din.

Ang pait
Ang sakit

Hawakan ang pag-ibig
Suungin muli ang panganib


Tingnan ang pedestal,
Inilatag sa harapan,
Pinapangarap andiyan,
Busilak na pagmamahal.

Kumikinang ang bawat hawakan,
Kahit gaano pa ang kalawang,
Sa pag-ibig na dalisay,
Ang nakaraan walang saysay.

Handa ka na ba?
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Dear Yiyeh,

Happy Chinese Father’s Day!

In my life I never had a chance to meet my grandparents for they passed away before I could see the light. When I am still a child, I’ve envied my friends having to play with their grandparents, in my heart I longs for a person I can call grandpa. It didn’t occur to me that in foreign land I could find such man.

As we talked about my contract, the near is approaching. I’m not sure if I could go back and take care of you until your last breath. You always mentioned life will be miserable when I leave you, I feel the same way too. Perhaps it might be our last father’s day together and your last birthday that I am around. This one year, all the occasions might be our last but I am still hoping fate will intervene to change the course of what we are afraid to happen.

You are a great man. A man full of kindness and generosity towards the needs of others. In spite of the family status, you remain your feet in the ground for that i salute you. You taught me lessons, a handful lesson in life. I asked you once, "Yiyeh, do you believe in God? You answered me in firm voice NO. I was shocked to hear it from you, then you said I believe that everyone is created equal, that GOD is how you handle/live your life in accordance w/ your conscience and good deeds" Now, i fully understood what you were trying to say. Live a life not only to pleased God but because God is with me.

You're a generous man. I can't say thank you enough for all the help you showed me. You've changed my life.

I will be forever grateful for showing me concern and unconditional understanding in my shortcomings. For being a grandfather to me, for inspiring me to do what I love the most writing, for always sharing me your thoughts/wisdom that I could never learned in school. I will cherish the memories with you.

Yiyeh, you are a family. Thank you so much for everything.

Happy Birthday and Happy Father’s Day!
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Tamang Panahon

Tinitingnan ko ang bawat anggulo ng mga pangyayari. Binabalikan ko ang mga alaala saiyo, kung paano mo pinahimlay ang Gumamelang gulong-gulo sa iyong kaharian. Pinaramdam mo ang sobrang pagmamahal, pag-papahalaga at tinanggap mo ang kahinaan.

Hindi ko kayang punan ang respeto at tulong na kusa mong inabot. Tulong na babaunin ko at ng aking pamilya. Ikaw ang sandalan kapag hinang-hina na ako, ikaw ang karamay sa tuwing napapagal, nanlulumo, nababagot, naasar, nagagalit at nalilito. Lahat ng magandang salita hindi maitutumbas sa kabutihan mo, mga bagay na nagawa at sinakripisyo para maipakita mo ang totoong adhikain/intensyon/hangarin.

Andiyan ka kahit na maraming pagkukulang ang Gumamela. Tagasalo ng problema, taga payo, taga at madami pang taga. (haha)

Sa puntong ito, kailangan kung gumawa ng desisyon. Dapat akong mamili ng landas na aking tatahakin. Dapat ko ring isara ang mga bagay na ayaw at ibaon sa kahapon ang nangyari na. Ngunit paano kung mas gusto ko na ganito lang, naglalabay,nagpapatianod at sumasabay sa agos? Paano kung sa hindi ko pagpili doon ko gusto subukan ang taong dadamay sa akin hanggang huli? Bakit kailangan kong magpasya agad? Hanggang saan mo ako kayang hintayin? Hanggang kailan mo ako masasamahan sa paglakbay? Paano kung huminto ako ng tuluyan? Sa dako ba roon muli kitang matatanaw o sadyang lalakad ka na rin kapiling ang ibang magmamahal? Bakit ko isasara ang pinto kung may gusto pa akong papasukin o di kaya'y bakit ko ikakandado kung may ninanais akong palabasin? Alin ka dun? Nasa loob o nasa labas?

Magtatanong ang anino, MASAYA KA BA GUMAMELA? Ikaw masaya ka ba? O baka naman parehas lang tayo miserable? o pwede ring magaling lang tayo magdala ng sitwasyon? Ang pagngiti ba at pagtawa sukatan ng pagiging masaya? Ang pag-iyak din ba senyales lang na nagdurusa?

Mas nanaisin kung isipin hindi ito ang tamang panahon para magbitaw ng desisyon. Hindi pa hinog ang panahon. Marami pang dapat isaalang-alang, nararamdaman, pagkakataon, at kinabukasan. Pero nasabi ko na rin, hindi ko iniisip ang bukas ang importante sa akin iyong ngayon. Ang tanong NASAAN AKO NGAYON? Sa puso ko may mahal ako, sa puso ko may gusto akong makasama sa dapithapon kung sinu iyon alam kong nararamdaman niya subalit nagbubulagbulagan at inililihis ng pagkakataon.

Sino ba ang nagpapaantay? Ako? Ikaw? Siya? Bawat isa may sagot sa tanong na iyan ngunit mas mamarapatin kong sagutin ng katahimikan. Sa pananahimik mas doon ko makikita ang kayang gawin ng isa't isa. Kung sa palagay mo ikaw iyon, make a move and give your best shot. Kung sa tingin mo naglalaro lang ako, then you don't even deserve my time.

There's a point in our lives that we struggle, we face the dominant side of oneself and get tired of trying. But once you make a final vow, it will remain unbroken. In my heart there's a special person, i see my future w/ him yet i can't predict what's store for tomorrow for the days that will come might change everything. You know who you are, ILOVEU! Here's the hint "ambie" (hahaha!)
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Sa puso nakamarka,
Ang alaala
Ng mapangahas
Na kaluluwa.
Sa isip nakakintal,
Ang diwa
Ng ligaw
Na makata.
Ang nararamdaman ngayon,
Ay manhid
Sa pagdurusa
Sa nakasama.
Ang awit,
Na naririnig
Walang himig
Na masaya.
(sa kabaliktaran)
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