Friday, December 31, 2010
Nagpapaalam din ako sa alala ng aking nakasama sa buhay. Batid kung ang katotohanan ay bukas sa karamihan ngunit ang pagpapatawad ay hindi pa napapanahon. Madaming bagay ang dapat tapusin subalit panahon ang magsasabi anong mabisang solusyon. Ang mahalaga sa akin, hindi ako nagkulang sa pamilyang natutunan ko ng mahalin.
Sa di inaasahan na oras dumating muli ang pagkakataon sa akin. Mabago ang lahat at mag-umpisa ng maayos, mangarap muli at unti-unting buuin ang naibuwal na tiwala sa sarili. Dumating ang lalaking tumanggap sa akin, gumabay para muli akong ibalik sa pamilyang nagkalinga sa akin at patuloy niyang hinahawakan ang aking mga kamay sa kabila ng aking kahinaan, pagkakamali at kapintasan. Sa kanya walang takot at pag-aatubili kong nasasabi ang lahat na walang paghuhusga. Aaminin ko isang sugal din ang pinasok ko sa umpisa ngunit sa buwan ng Nobyembre lumabas ang final decision na kanyang inaantay. Ang malaking hadlang ay tuluyan na ring naglaho in God's perfect time. Hindi ko pinangarap na mag-umpisa ng pamilya at mas lalong wala sa akin sistema ang magkaron ng anak ngunit sa isang iglap binago ang aking pananaw. I'm looking forward to having a family on my own. Strange isn't it? But now, i truly believes LOVE conquers all. Makikita sa aking mukha, sa aking aura ang pagkakuntento na hindi ko naramdaman noon. At handa na akong talikuran ang akin sariling pangarap para bumuo ng pamilyang dalawa naming hinahangad.
Mula Octubre hanggang ngayon biglang bumuhos ang pagpapala galing sa Kanya. Binusog ako ng mga regalo na hindi ko inasahan aking matatanggap. Unexpected praises and surprises. Madaming nagtatanong masaya ba daw talaga ako? Masayang masaya ako. Lahat ay smooth sailing. His family welcome me with so much love and care. They help us to start a life and i am certain they will be there through rough times.
Ang taong 2010 ay masasabi kong pinakamalungkot at masayang taon para sa akin. Malungkot dahil sinara ko ang pinto ng buhay na aking nakasalamuha sa mahabang panahon, masaya naman dahil natagpuan ko ang tao na handa ko ng pakasalan. Yes, i am engaged! Madaming pwedenga mangyari ngunit batid ng aking puso, ito na ang buhay na aking panghahawakan. At pangako namin sa isa't isa si Kristo ang magiging sentro ng aming relasyon. Araw-araw inaakay niya ako sa faith na nakalimutan ko na.
Sa huling pagkakataon, humihingi ako ng paumanhin sa nakasamaan ko ng loob. Akoý nagpapakumbaba at taos-pusong humihingi ng tawad.
Salamat sa mga kaibigan na hindi tumalikod sa akin, sa mga taong naniwala pa rin sa aking kakayahan at sa taong nagbigay ng sakit kasi kung hindi dahil sainyo hindi ko mahahanap ang mga tunay na kaibigan. Salamat sa PEBA, binuo ninyo ang aking pagkatao. Dahil sa PEBA mas lalo akong naging close sa Regalado's family. (at madaming gifts na binigay si Yiyi, laptop, camera, red envelope and necklace) ^_^
Manigong Bagong Taon sa lahat!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Inside the Taipei 101 Mall (the original planned was to go to the observatory deck but because of the occassion many tourists flocked, so we were not able to see the breathtaking view of Taipei) Though, i'm not giving up one of this day i will go back to experience the one in a lifetime ride.
The TRIO: Vicky (my best buddy way back then) and Ate Melba, my chaperon. hahaha! The ears and eyes of my hubby.
Where's my scarf?(lol) at the Saint Christopher Church
At Chungshan (Won-Won building)
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
The Ugnayan Choir
The host/hostess ( one of my close friend in Taiwan, as she said " veterans of chungshiao")
Through her invitation thats why i came to the event.
The Pinoy Got Talent Season 3 Contestants
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Nakikipagbuno ako sa homesick at pagkabalisa. Ang Gumamela Sa Paraiso ay naging himlayan ng pagal kung kaluluwa. Sarili kung mundo para maibuhos ang tunay kung nararamdaman. Hindi ako natatakot sabihin ang aking pagkabigo, isulat ang mga pagkakamali at ilabas ang totoong nararamdaman. Ito rin ang naging daan ko para makita ang taong sumusuporta sa akin.
May nagtanong sa akin, ANO ANG MAKUKUHA MO SA PAGSALI SA PEBA? BAKIT BUKAMBIBIG MO ANG PEBA? MAY PERA BA SA PEBA? mga tanong na nakakainis sagutin ngunit bilang isang OFW kailangan kung ipaliwanag sa abot ng aking nalalaman at kakayahan. Nakakainsulto lang minsan dahil parang ang tingin ng ilan sumali ako para sa pera/para sa pansariling karangalan ang hindi nila alam ang PEBA ang naging tulay upang mas lalo kung isa-alang alang ang tungkulin ko bilang isang anak at isang OFW. Sa papanong paraaan? Na inspired ako sa kanilang adhikain, milya man ang pagitan nga mga volunteers pero hindi hadlang upang maisagawa ang pakikipagkapwa. Human brotherhood in spite of all the hardship. Isa sa hinahangaan kung bloggero ay si Kuya George. Hanga ako sa kanyang mga pananaw. Naging salamin ko para pangalagaan ng husto kung anong meron ako.
Maraming maraming salamat PEBA. Salamat sa mga kaibigan na nag iwan ng komento at nagbasa, sa mga judges at higit sa lahat sa bumubuo ng PEBA from volunteers and officers. Mula sa aking puso tatanawin kong malaking utang na loob ang pagpupugay na inyong inabot sa akin. Magigi ko itong sandata sa oras na nanlulumo ako at nawawalan ng pag-asa na sa kabila ng lahat ng pahihinagpis may grupo/taong naniniwala sa aking kakayahan.
"We are proud of you" mga katagang nagbibigay ng assurance sa akin na sa kabila ng aking kahinaan andiyan sila para ipadama sa akin ang totoong pagkalinga. PEBA is indeed for family. I became more closer to my bf's family because of the event. The wall that i thought was there didn't exist at all. Thank you!
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Thank you for the christmas card that you sent. I am so delighted and touched for your effort. I'm looking forward to see you. More years to our friendship. Hopefully we remain best of friends untill we grow old. From the bottom of my heart THANK YOU.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Life is always beautiful to those who has a positive outlook, to those who suffered but still didn't let go the burning desire of HOPE. Life is crazy, life is unjust yet there is a sacred temple called camarederie. Once you learn to be compassionate in the needs of others and be humble even in times that "you think" you have the reason to stay on top the true essence of life will flow.
We learn from our own struggles. We learn from others, we learn from just listening, from using our senses but the most appealing thing is we only learn if we are courageous enough in admitting our faults. We are all accountable in our deeds.
Our actions are the mirror of who we are. We can't demand respect if we don't respect ourselves. We can't expect happiness, if the happiness we are holding was snatched from someone. Happiness is a life long process, it's not the feeling but the "it" in every circumtances.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Can we learn from our mistakes? Can we do things differently in the future and become better? Every now and again sone makes what appear to be an innocent mistakes. Either it will make or break us, it depend on our will power and character.Some were lucky enough to turn the table and never look back but some gone to pit and remain buried for the rest of their lives.
No one is perfect, every one deserve a second chance as they say. I am one of them. While there is no reason to doubt i indeed understand the needs to confront the devil inside me. Some witnessed how my life evolves in so called affair and some were disgusted of my choices. For some it was perplex, illogical and ridiculous but then again i've never fan of what other says towards me. I am good in hiding my self from my own shadows. In every chance to change i managed to convinced myself it was my own choice and turning back will be a betrayal and act of being a coward. It was my predicament all the time. Every good thing, happy moment was just another facade/wishful thinking because deep down the fact remain i was in a mess.
I've been trying so hard to abandoned the ship, yet the courage i'd muster wasn't enough. I failed over and over again. My physical strenght was overshadowed by the force of my mind and my emotion was the focal point in dealing all the events in my life. I was so frustrated. I put a glue in my own dillema and accepted it as it was. I moved one step forward but caught in stepping two backward again and again.
Who gave me a chance? Who inspired me to change the course of my plight? I had a chance to talked to my family during the hardest battle. I've asked my Mom where did i go wrong? Why after all the sacrifices i made, i'm still the victim of unjust and unfairly deeds? My Mom answered me only with these phrase "COME BACK WITH US, WE MISSED OUR KULABHING". From that day, i stays firmed in my desire to go back to my roots, to go back to my home where i can truly find true acceptance and true care. Then, out of nowhere someone offered me a precious gift: love and friendship. A life that sometimes i thought i am not worthy of.
Chance means change for me. I'm glad it's not too late to begin my journey.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
"It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals" (Fred Allen)
"Forgiveness is the final form of love" (Reinhold Niebuhr)
"Love is not weakness. It is strong. Only the sacrament of marriage can contain it" (Boris Patersnak)
"Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend" (Martin Luther King)
"Love is like a friendship caught on fire: In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable" (Bruce Lee)
"Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other" (Carl Jung)
"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, thats her" (Unknown).
"True love is eternal, infinite, and always like itself. It is equal and pure, without violent demonstrations: it is seen with white hairs and is always young in the heart."(Honore de Balzac)