Monday, December 6, 2010
Can we learn from our mistakes? Can we do things differently in the future and become better? Every now and again sone makes what appear to be an innocent mistakes. Either it will make or break us, it depend on our will power and character.Some were lucky enough to turn the table and never look back but some gone to pit and remain buried for the rest of their lives.
No one is perfect, every one deserve a second chance as they say. I am one of them. While there is no reason to doubt i indeed understand the needs to confront the devil inside me. Some witnessed how my life evolves in so called affair and some were disgusted of my choices. For some it was perplex, illogical and ridiculous but then again i've never fan of what other says towards me. I am good in hiding my self from my own shadows. In every chance to change i managed to convinced myself it was my own choice and turning back will be a betrayal and act of being a coward. It was my predicament all the time. Every good thing, happy moment was just another facade/wishful thinking because deep down the fact remain i was in a mess.
I've been trying so hard to abandoned the ship, yet the courage i'd muster wasn't enough. I failed over and over again. My physical strenght was overshadowed by the force of my mind and my emotion was the focal point in dealing all the events in my life. I was so frustrated. I put a glue in my own dillema and accepted it as it was. I moved one step forward but caught in stepping two backward again and again.
Who gave me a chance? Who inspired me to change the course of my plight? I had a chance to talked to my family during the hardest battle. I've asked my Mom where did i go wrong? Why after all the sacrifices i made, i'm still the victim of unjust and unfairly deeds? My Mom answered me only with these phrase "COME BACK WITH US, WE MISSED OUR KULABHING". From that day, i stays firmed in my desire to go back to my roots, to go back to my home where i can truly find true acceptance and true care. Then, out of nowhere someone offered me a precious gift: love and friendship. A life that sometimes i thought i am not worthy of.
Chance means change for me. I'm glad it's not too late to begin my journey.